Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
