The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
