Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
