Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
