The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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