I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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