that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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