Porn is love you can see.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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