sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
