for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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