Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
