I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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