just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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