I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
