So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
