Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have aggressive nipples.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize