Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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