omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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