nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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