I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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