I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
