just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
