I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
