you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
