There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
