do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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