I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
