Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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