he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
