omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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