oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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