Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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