I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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