I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
