i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize