I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
