Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
