I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
