Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
