i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
