what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
