I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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