you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
