Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
