Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
