Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
