at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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