i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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