Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
