My room smells like vodka and shame
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
