I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
