your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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