the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
