I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
so much tequila, so little girl.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
