exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
