i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
