We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize