dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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