hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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