I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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