Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
