I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
