I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i dont even know how to be here
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
