Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
