Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
