And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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