I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
