You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
