is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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