I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
